This article is written by guest contributing writer Karen Dillon. For more ways to connect with Karen her email is: dillonhang5@me.com and her website is www.karendillon.me

Last week Karen began to share her journey of dealing with and combating breast cancer. For a refresher to link to that post can be found here.

In my yoga practice, I was able to see clearly that I had to move to a new level of trust in my spiritual being. In my case it is a religious version of my Catholic God, but it also took the form of the Good Orderly Direction in the unfolding of my life, the Great Out Doors and many kundalini yoga chants and mantras.

This is very unique to everyone, it doesn’t need to be spiritual or religious, all we really need to do is find a connection with something bigger than ourselves that we can rely on, so we can release some of the burden and fears of self-reliance. This put me in a difficult position that I had never been in before.

Usually when I am not trusting and am in fear and worry it is because I am in self reliance - I’ve got this, I can handle it, I can figure it out, no problem. Well I had no faith in myself - I thought I was doing all the “right” things to stay healthy and I was not in trust of the Good Orderly Direction of my life - so where did that leave me….confused, scared and flummoxed! I needed to continue with my yoga and mediation to remain sane!

I had my surgery in January of last year and continued on a daily basis to do all I knew how to do, even if I was still in fear. I meditated every day and tried to quiet my mind. The recovery was difficult, but with lots of support I got through . Then I had to plan the FINAL surgery for reconstruction and removal. I had a great plan….the surgeries would fall directly in between our amazing family wedding in California and my middle sons graduation from Wake Forest.

With this plan I would be free to fly for both occasions and wouldn’t have any physical restrictions. March 12th, I went for my pre-surgery appointments in NYC. I was all set to go and then as we all know, the world shut down! Once again I was shown my plans and designs are not playing out, my surgeries were postponed. I had to wait! I am not a very patient person once I get into action it’s just that…action! Let’s get this done!!

March 12th, I drove to our beach house in RI and my husband and 3 boys joined me for the next few months of COVID. I heard nothing from my doctors about my surgery until the end of May— they wanted me to come in June 19th. This was not my plan! I wanted to be done with all of this by the time summer hit.

Now, I considered postponing until September so I could enjoy the summer in my special place. Once again, I moved on my mat and hit my meditation cushion and got quiet - I chose to go ahead with the surgery. From March 12th to this phone call I had been moving in overdrive - shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and repeat day after day for my family, life was very busy.

Once I had the surgery date I stopped all of that. I spent my days doing yoga, meditating, praying, reading, walking with friends and building up my strength for surgery. All went well with the surgeries and as I recovered I returned to my focus of self-care. It is important to note that my self-care involves my mental, emotional and spiritual self, so I needed a lot of time to sit and be quiet.

Also, I could’t practice yoga, so I needed to gain mental clarity and sanity in stillness. I am so grateful that I had developed strong habits of total self-care prior to my cancer diagnosis and year of treatment. I always knew it was important, but when life throws you major curve balls like this, I learned that my default was to work harder at my mediation practice and for that I am forever grateful.

Now in November 2020 and as I write this, it is exactly the week that I received the diagnosis. Through this writing, I realize there is a reason for everything and even though my mind can go to the place of “why me”, I found that continuing my daily yoga and meditation practice gave me the option to choose again. For today I choose gratitude for where I am now, for my family, my heath and the opportunity to possibly give others hope through my experience.

My mantra I am repeating is…..Today I choose to trust we are healthy and all is well!

Depicted here is Karen’s first time surfing post surgeries!

How I Leaned on my Meditation & Yoga Practice Through Breast Cancer During COVID Part 2 of 2