Reintroducing Joy Langley ~ Sharing What Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Is All About
This article is co-written by guest contributing writer Joy Langley, a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and Stress Management Coach and by Sky Corbett-Methot, a Holistic Nutritionist and 500-hour Hatha yoga and meditation instructor.
Picture taken by Pricilla Du Preez (@priscilladupreez)
Today we have a special guest contributing to our blog! You may recognize this beautiful talented human as we had her as a guest on YTC’s podcast back in August. I proudly introduce to you Joy Langley, a UK based Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and Life Coach. She is about to launch her second online course focused on Secret of Successful Relationships. To subscribe and follow these course please check out think link.
This weeks blog is focused on a Q&A style, so that we can have a written account of Joy’s mission and journey. Throughout this post we gain insight into what has lead her to follow her passion, educating us on what cognitive behaviour therapy is, expanding on what a session might look like, and who can benefit from this style of therapy.
Key takeaways from Joy’s Q&A is that the “heart of CBT is reminding us we can all find a new perspective, a new way to think about our difficulties,” to “stop suffering in silence” and that each CBT session begins with “a conversation about courage.” How empowering is that! You are not alone in the fight for mental health.
YTC: “Joy your field of work prior to this calling, included public relations in both fashion and music. Did you personally experience or observe something that called you to change into the field of mental health? Was there a specific moment or did another outcome occur?”
Joy: “I gained my degree in my mid twenties (chemistry & business) but never applied it the way I thought I would. I guess that’s the way for a lot of people and the disappointment set in …it knocked me really hard. After a few jobs that I hated I landed my dream job as a personal assistant in the music industry. I loved it and it helped me and boyfriend at that time to try our hand at running a small music PR company.
When I was in my teens my mum had depression. The family witnessed first-hand the confusion and pain it created for everyone. I always worried that I would get this ‘terrible’ thing that no one seemed to understand, and my mum’s generation were so ashamed of. I experienced bouts of depression during my twenties which really scared me, I thought I was going mad! Would I end up like my mum? But deep down I knew the reason was that life felt pointless because I was doing pointless things with my time and energy at work! It makes sense when I look back at it. Doing meaningless jobs were killing me, because I felt I didn’t matter in the world. I felt insignificant and worthless.
Once I got back on my feet with motivational self-help books and thought leaders, I decided to train as a counsellor and enter the mental health field. Following a difficult relationship break-up I’d rediscovered a passion for psychology. I wanted to understand how my mind worked and it ‘felt’ so right. The rest is history, I’ve been a therapist for fifteen years and I’m so grateful for the ways it has enriched other peoples lives and also my own.”
YTC” “Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a very powerful means of psychotherapy. You work closely with individuals who suffer from grief as you once said “it destroys lives”. Could you please explain what CBT is for you and your clients?”
Joy: “Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is normally abbreviated to CBT. It’s a talking therapy with a big dollop of practical actionable strategies. The idea is that thoughts really matter and negative thoughts create a vicious cycle that affects our emotions that then affect our behaviour. In fact, thoughts have the power to create situations over and over again (on automatic mode in our subconscious) unless we pro-actively decide to think differently or take different action steps. There are two classic books in the self help industry called “As A Man Thinketh” by James Allen, and another classic “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. They are on my book shelf and I dip into them because the titles remind me to be careful with my thoughts and negative thinking patterns.”
YTC: “What goals are often focused on these meetings? What does a session often look like?”
Joy: “Human beings are unique but we are shaped by our upbringing, environment and culture, this creates a common thread. Deep unhappiness is at the heart of most sessions and the conversations help clients find the root causes. The pain comes from difficult relationships with partners and family, trying to establish purpose and fulfillment through daily work, pressure and overwhelm. But the biggest puzzle is raising the relationship you have with yourself and this involves developing your self esteem, confidence and resilience.
I make an assessment of their current problems, and discuss their goals, I also use other self assessed questionnaires weekly to monitor how they are progressing. Sometimes it feels clients have simply lost their way, strayed from a path and just need ideas and reminders to get them back on track. The heart of CBT is reminding us we can all find a new perspective, a new way to think about our difficulties. Self esteem and self confidence are common threads, as it’s hard to live around other people’s overbearing ideas without a strong sense of who you are. Happiness is a great goal, and I think all my clients have that one.
Each session is a conversation about courage. We talk, we laugh, we cry. Yes, sometimes I get a little teary during sessions too, and many a time that’s tears of happiness. They encourage my client to reveal more about themselves without apology or embarrassment. It helps them to make sense of their past ideas and experiences, and see, feel and do life differently. We use various worksheets and imagery to support these changes.”
YTC: “How many sessions is ideal for CBT to be most beneficial?”
Joy: “The majority of clients have six to eight sessions to experience the positive changes of thinking about themselves and other people in a fresher way, and to feel confident about becoming better problem solvers, using the new CBT strategies to challenge their thoughts. Some require less, some require more, but clients are always in charge of this decision with some guidance from me.”
YTC “What is your advice for someone who is experiencing depression, trauma, grief, and/or the like?”
Joy: “Depression and anxiety are a part of life, but tragic life experiences intensify these. If anyone is experiencing low moods and anxiety I would encourage them to stop suffering in silence. There are many excellent therapists out there and also emphatic doctors who can support you with medication or signpost you to local services.
The problem with feeling low is that the get up and go energy you normally use to motivate yourself disappears, so allow friends and family to support you with your recovery.
Grief and trauma generate depression and anxiety, and there is no right or wrong way to process it. A good therapist or specialist self help group can be a great support during this difficult time. I have been through the grief of losing my son, it’s not been easy but I want you to know it is possible to embrace life again.”
Thank you Joy, you have given us such insight into what has lead you down the route of mental health, sharing how passionate you are about your work, and what cognitive behavioural therapy is truly about.
For more ways to follow/contact Joy Langley: